Monday, May 11, 2015

Every little memory counts..

Alicia was telling me that his mum mentioned something which she thought I might like to know.
I've already forgotten about it and yet he still remembered.. Silly boy.

Just the thought of him eating the bread even though he was in discomfort.. Makes me tear every time I think of it. 
你这个笨蛋!! :'(

As much as I hate to admit it.. I am really very envious of his gf. She had the chance to accompany him during his remaining days.. I wish I could have him to myself for a day.. an hour or even just a minute.

Hope the memories he had of me had brought him happiness instead of sadness.. And that they were enough to ease some of the pains he felt..


Just knowing that he still cared for me even after all these years.. Is good enough. 
I'd stopped expecting anything from him long ago.

It's just that what I've been told by his mum and Alicia versus his words and actions..
So different! I don't dare to believe.. 

I really don't understand..

Isn't he happily attached for years?
Isn't he happy without me for years?
Isn't she his girlfriend and one of the 3 most important women in his life?
Isn't he going to marry her?

Why would he still do / say the things he did to his mum and Alicia.. Related to me. 
Me? Why me?

Until now I still find it hard to believe. Are they mistaken? 
Did I imagine that myself? Am I delusional? 自作多情?
Whenever I hear the things he did / say.. I feel sad to cause him unpleasant feelings towards his remaining days.

But what can I do? 

He didn't give me the chance.
He didn't give me the right to.

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