Almost forgot..

..how much I can (could?) love a person. 

Unexpectedly, I still shed some tears for him every now and then.. Ever since I knew about his condition. 

It actually hurts me quite a lot. 

So I must say, thankfully we broke up at least 3 years ago. Otherwise, I may seriously die from a broken heart.

Still in the midst of digging up old memories from my old blog to write a special blog post regarding the happy memories of us. Surprisingly, there are quite a lot.. The draft is getting so long.. Maybe I should post in separate parts.

Recalled many things that I've forgotten. Unexpectedly, it has been quite therapeutic for me.

Did you sing that song for any others too?

The one that you said you only sing for the one you really loves?

Keep wondering that but at the same time, keep reminding myself that it is over.

---

Was kinda expecting his spirit to come and find me these few nights.

Woke up in the mornings and feeling surprised that I didn't dream of him.

I'm crazy, I know. 

Was even thinking, maybe he needs to do some "registration" in the other side. That's why he can't come and find me yet. Wah kao, 我真的是疯了。神经病!

(我想能陪我一起疯的也只有他了吧?)

Didn't he say he love me most? Didn't he feel regrets towards me? Can't he just tell me himself? Why didn't he tell me himself? Why must he leave me with so many new questions. I've been having headache these days just from over-thinking. And swollen eyes too, ha!

3年前, 你一直弄我哭.. 3年后, 你还是一直弄我哭!

真的是彻彻底底地败给你了。

Still deciding if I should go to his funeral wake..

你要我去吗?

你在那里吗?

你在等我吗?

可是我不想看到这样的你.. 怎么办?

该死的眼泪! 可以不要一直流吗..

Until today, I still find it so unbelievable that he has left. Self denial?