Monday, December 28, 2015

Where's my darling's smile?

Lately Cookie has been looking so, so tired and getting slimmer each day. Looking back at the recent photos / videos I took, I realised she hadn't smile for a long time. 

Dug through my IG posts and the last time I captured her smiling was 11 weeks ago! 

Will I see my darling girl smile again? 

Sometimes I wonder if we should tell her it's okay to let go. But I can't bring myself to tell her that. 

Each time she couldn't even stand on all fours, my heart ached. I couldn't breathe. My eyes got teary. 

And each time she would show me a glimpse of hope and make me believe in miracle by standing up and walk. Thank you, my darling baby girl!

Cookie is such a fighter. 2 years ago, her kidneys had problems and there was a fatty lump. The vet said she won't make it. She did. Afterwards she had stroke. Then another stroke. But she kept going. And eventually she could walk as per normal again. Then she can't see anymore due to cataracts. But she still continues to walk on her own.

Lately she was hospitalised because the growth in her stomach was affecting her food intake. The vet said she is not going to survive for long because he never see a dog live past 18. Cookie is 18 years old. And 5 months, to be exact.

But Cookie still enjoyed walking around the ward every day while she was there.

The vet also said, Cookie is the only dog he has seen, who is 18 and still able to walk on her own.

Nowadays I don't know which is more heart wrenching. To see her losing her vitality bit by bit with each passing day or to be separated from her physically. (I hope we can still stay together in spirit. Please let me be psychic and can communicate and see animal spirits.. Please!! I miss Mocha too..)

Praying for a miracle that Cookie can get stronger and regain her smile again!

I have to be strong!
I have to be positive!

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