Will They Come Back..?

Today's Shirley's Baby (a golden retriever) passed on.

Unlike most grieving pawrents, Shirley was very positive.. Perhaps a little too happy?

Well, the reason is, Baby is finally free from suffering and will be reincarnate back to them next year! So happy for her and Baby! I hope Baby will be back as a healthy and adorable dog!

Shirley learnt animal communication and she is able to connect with animals, both alive and dead. Decided to PM her to ask if Cookie or Mocha will come back.. I sure hope they will! At least one of them!

Miss my girls so much..

---

Would I ever get to hold Cookie in my arms again.. 

I didn't even have any photo taken together with Mocha.. ='(

If Mocha can come back to me, I hope she can be a small, healthy dog this time..

So that I can bring her around unlike last time!

Enough is enough.

(This is not a poem but I just felt like writing it in this way.)

Once upon a time

There was a silly little girl

Who loved her family a lot

She would over-think

And think way way ahead

That one day her parents would die

And then her sisters

Or maybe she will die first

Everyone has to die eventually

No matter who dies first

They will all be separated eventually

Every time she thought of that

She would cry secretly

She hoped that the family can die together

So that they can always be together

(When I was young, I watched 富貴開心鬼. 

I was so envious because the whole family died together and they could go to the other world together.)

Back to the story..

The silly girl finally died

The End.

---

It's been many years and my heart never really revive.

In fact, it died more and more thoroughly each time some shit happens. Ha.

---

After yet another incident, I think I really have enough.

I don't have any hope for them anymore.

From helpless.. To despair.. To being cold.. And eventually, Oblivious. 

Haha, I'm free now. :)

Came across this today..

Sometimes I asked God

"Why? Why can't I have a loving family?"

Not born with one and unable to create my own because I never find a worthy good guy.

No matter how hard I tried.

And yet others who take everything for granted are blessed with good families and lovers.

Why, God, why?

But nonetheless I'm still grateful.

Because I have Cookie and Fluffy now!

And Mocha! She may have left us physically but she is still in my heart.

Thank you God.

Was chatting with Elise the other day

And she reminded me: We will be 34 this year!

Finally I can have my own place soon!

So looking forward to living ON MY OWN!

My future house shall be a place full of love, peace and positive vibes.

Hello Mocha Girl Girl!

Full picture here:

Until now I still find it hard to accept.

Why did she leave us so suddenly..

Just look at the photo on top.

It was taken merely a couple of days before she died.

She didn't look like she was not healthy at all.

Only clues were the bits of bones that my sister spotted at Mocha's anus when she died.

Somebody please tell me how to forgive the old bastard who gave her chicken bones even though we kept telling him NOT TO DO IT.

---

Had dreamt of Mocha previously.. 

1st time

She was lazing right in front of our main door.

Somehow I could understand her:

"I am always here, watching over all of you."

2nd time

Just this year when Eugene just passed away.

Had been feeling sad and couldn't stop tearing every now and then.

Then one night I dreamt of Mocha!

Somehow I felt that Eugene was nearby but he didn't want to show himself.

Had the feeling that he brought her here to comfort me.

But at the sight of Mocha, I immediately hugged her and started crying..

Told her how much I miss her,

When I woke up, I strangely felt a lot better.

And I stopped crying over Eugene's death.

Life is full of mysteries..

---

Writing this entry still make me tear a bit.

I miss, miss my sweet little Mocha girl so much!

How I wish I can see her again..

Will I?

A nice dream

Well, I finally dreamed of him. A little. But it was kinda vague so I don't think it's a visitation dream.
But it does make me feel better now. 

Can't remember the details. 

Only remember that I felt sad.

He was around somewhere but keeping his distance. 

Not complaining about that because my beloved Mocha darling was right before my eyes! 

In my dream, I was hugging her and stroking her constantly.

I miss you so much, sweet girl.. :')

Are you still waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge?

Somehow I got the feeling that he brought her here to comfort me because he knows I've been sad.

Maybe it's just my auto healing mechanism at work.

But if it's really you.. Thank you. :)