Monday, February 29, 2016
Monday, February 8, 2016
Message from Above?
Finally Free
The whole world said I am bad (too lazy to elaborate) and I believed so.
I tried to please them, to live up to their expectations but I always failed.
I was never good enough. Perhaps I was just useless, like they said.
Finally I realized I was wrong.
Not the whole world feel that way about me, but just some people who meant the world to me.
Key word: Meant. Past tense.
I just have to find a whole new world filled with people who truly care about me.
Thanks to all those who love me and my everything, be it the good or the bad.
You help me break out of that "prison" and let me regain some self confidence to see the truth and accept reality.
Memories of your kindness to me always protect my heart whenever "my previous world" attacks me.
Because of you, I am stronger.
Because of you, I am stronger.
Not going to transform overnight but today is going to be a great start!
(I just hope my heart won't soften again. No more!)
(I just hope my heart won't soften again. No more!)
---
有时很想问。
为什么你总是不高兴?
世界欠了你什么?
我又欠了你什么?
我是没法让你满意了。
也不在乎你怎么想了。
你想怎样就怎样吧。
不和你一起闹了。
我真的累了。
我想要活的开心啊~
Friday, January 29, 2016
Enough is enough.
(This is not a poem but I just felt like writing it in this way.)
Once upon a time
There was a silly little girl
Who loved her family a lot
She would over-think
And think way way ahead
That one day her parents would die
And then her sisters
Or maybe she will die first
Everyone has to die eventually
No matter who dies first
They will all be separated eventually
Every time she thought of that
She would cry secretly
She hoped that the family can die together
So that they can always be together
(When I was young, I watched 富貴開心鬼.
I was so envious because the whole family died together and they could go to the other world together.)
Back to the story..
The silly girl finally died
The End.
---
It's been many years and my heart never really revive.
In fact, it died more and more thoroughly each time some shit happens. Ha.
---
After yet another incident, I think I really have enough.
I don't have any hope for them anymore.
From helpless.. To despair.. To being cold.. And eventually, Oblivious.
Haha, I'm free now. :)
Came across this today..
Sometimes I asked God
"Why? Why can't I have a loving family?"
Not born with one and unable to create my own because I never find a worthy good guy.
No matter how hard I tried.
And yet others who take everything for granted are blessed with good families and lovers.
Why, God, why?
But nonetheless I'm still grateful.
Because I have Cookie and Fluffy now!
And Mocha! She may have left us physically but she is still in my heart.
Thank you God.
Was chatting with Elise the other day
And she reminded me: We will be 34 this year!
Finally I can have my own place soon!
So looking forward to living ON MY OWN!
My future house shall be a place full of love, peace and positive vibes.
Labels:
Cookie the Queen,
Fluffy The Prince,
Food For Thought,
Mocha,
Random,
Rantings
Money, where did you go?
But the good thing is, I paid my study loanS, ALL my billS and still have enough to (barely) survive until the next payday.
Praying hard that I don't have anymore unexpected expenses like the past few months!
Can't wait to graduate and finish repaying my study loans!
I want to start saving that sum of money for my future house every month!
Hang in there!
---
Can't help feeling ashamed that I don't have a sum of significant savings at the age of 33 (34 after my birthday this year.)
I sure wish that someone taught me about the CORRECT concept of money and saving up when I was younger! Lost count of the times I regretted not saving up when I was young and my parents and Cookie were still healthy!
Too late for regrets.. I can only start bucking up NOW!
I sure wish that someone taught me about the CORRECT concept of money and saving up when I was younger! Lost count of the times I regretted not saving up when I was young and my parents and Cookie were still healthy!
Too late for regrets.. I can only start bucking up NOW!
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
摘星怪張偉《吻的太逼真》
Didn't really bother to chase after this China variety show: 蒙面歌王
But this one is really TOO AWESOME!
Listened to the original singer.. Honestly, not as good as 張偉's version.
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